A Teenager Looks at Modesty


We, as teenagers, often tend to associate modesty with old grannies wearing their old-fashioned frocks, stockings, and out-of-date shoes. But that isn’t what modesty really is. Sure they support that and dress accordingly to how they feel they should dress, but just because we’re told to dress modestly, doesn’t mean we have to be unfashionable or frumpy. Standing up and making a stand against immoral and skanky dress wear gives us a chance to be different and create our own dress style! My “style” is constantly changing and evolving but I have one basic sort of rule that I use as a guideline: BE DIFFERENT!

I love layers. Winter is my favorite time of year because it gives me a chance to experiment with different layering techniques! My favourite colors are red and black. You will see me wear clothes in those colors more than others.

I heard somewhere that a good way to be different and unique is to find one specific thing that you entangle into all your outfits. For example: always wearing a red ring on your middle finger on your left hand. Or always wearing a black and pink button bracelet... maybe you have this thing for cows, like me, so you can incorporate that into your dress wear too! I have a couple of cow socks so I always wear those when I’m wearing shoes, I also have one or two cow tops that I wear... so anyway, however you decide, or not decide, to do it... it’s such a fun way to stand out! I constantly get the “cute socks” comment and it shows people do notice and appreciate different-ness.

I’m no real example of being different because I’m not 100% random or different and I don’t really stand out from the crowd. But I kind of want to! I hate to be stuffed into a category of average teenagers. I don’t want to be associated with the skanks of this generation. I want to honor God’s commands to dress modestly and not only be wholesome, but different! It isn’t really that hard, and it’s not like I completely disregard what the fashion or style is, quite the reverse... I love to look around and see what’s “in” for the season, and if I like anything that’s out there I’ll try to mix it in with what’s “in” for me! Try it sometime; it’s actually a really fun exercise to put into practice...

I know for a fact that guys prefer girls who dress modestly. Sure, they enjoy the view they get of the girls who show off their bodies, but they definitely do not respect them and godly, uplifting, and wholesome men wouldn’t consider a long-term relationship with that girl because they just aren’t the quality they’re looking for. I think they subconsciously realize, as well, that good looks never last. So while you may be jealously eying that model’s toned stomach and perfect legs, know that, someday, the man God has intended for you will love you for who you are inside and not how you appear optically.

I’ve asked just about all of my male friends whether they prefer girls in skirts or jeans. Almost unanimously they all say us girls look far better in skirts because it makes us look more feminine.

There’s another thing, femininity! The one thing that separates us from the guys is the fact that we’re female!! We must be proud of the fact that we’re different from them and we should enhance our natural beauty with clothing that flatters us and not with an almost t-shirt or something that almost covers our backside like most girls now days wear. Mini skirts and strappy shirts do not feminize us or enhance our beauty. They, instead, demoralize us and make us vulnerable to abuse and misuse. By that, I'm referring to the future with this guy. When he's with you and not distracted with something else, he admires your body and will be charming and sweet cause he knows that that way he will get what he's craving. Yet when he's preoccupied with other things and his mind is elsewhere, not thinking about your body, and you come in asking him for a favor or whatever he will most likely get annoyed and shout something along the lines of “Go away! Can't you see I'm busy?!” You discover that this guy that has appeared so adorable and perfect is actually really rather shallow. It becomes blatantly obvious that he respected your physique rather than the real “you”! Is that honestly what you want?

There’s this book that I read called Secret Keeper by Dannah Gresh. I learnt from her was that we, as females, have a secret power. And that secret power or allure is modesty. She says, “Modesty is the source of this delicate yet formidable power, making it a power in and of itself. It’s delicate because it can be so innocently given away without your even knowing it. It’s formidable-or difficult to deal with or control-because once you’ve mastered it, no man will be given access to the full secrets behind your allure until you so desire.” Isn’t that amazing? The more we cover, the more enticing we are!

In Genesis 2, God surveys His fine creation and finds everything just right. He uses the word good.

“The Gestalt Theory teaches a graphic designer to control a viewer’s time by forcing the person to mentally complete a visual image. Because completing the incomplete intrigues the brain, it will always pause to finish an unfinished picture. What does a guy see when a girl walks by him wearing a long, tight skirt with a slit all the way up the sides? He sees past the fabric, because the slit invites him to finish the picture. This is simple visual science.”

Dannah continues, “How do you think this theory works when a girl wearing a tight T-shirt with her belly bared walks down the road past a guy? Yikes! Because he sees an incomplete picture of her body, he is compelled to complete it. The thrill not of what is seen, but is yet to be seen is what actually tempts him. His imagination kicks in. It’s just how the brain works, especially for guys.”

“Fact: It’s much more tempting for a guy to see a girl dressed in today’s skimpy fashion than it would be to see her naked.

So, for all you girls who shudder and picture those grannies when you hear the word modesty, try instead to think, “be different and fun!” It doesn’t have to be boring, it can be really stylish too... just as long as it’s your style and not the world’s!

Love in Christ,

Andréa Hammond

This article was published in Joy Magazine

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